Day 4 - Chinese Wedding 5/10/2011 Tuesday

Tao Tim and Tao Sun also has a younger sister called Wai Lan (陳慧蘭). It happened that her younger son was getting married on Tuesday while we were visiting. It was just great that I can meet another close relative and witness a Chinese wedding first hand. Early Tuesday morning after a quick breakfast with congee and deep fried dumplings, Tao Sun and his driver picked us up at 7:15 AM and took us over to greet the arrival of the bride at Wai Lan’s house. I was wondering why they started “The receiving of the Bride” so early in the morning but was told it was a good time according to the Chinese Almanac - “the Good Book”.

The drive was about 15 minutes back to town and upon arrival we saw four cars all decorated with paper flowers and streamers were already parked at the end of the block from Wai Lan’s house. The wedding party was there but the bride and groom and a good-looking young boy were still sitting in the car. What were they waiting for, I wondered? Later, I was told they had to wait for the precise time according to the Good Book to get out and walk into the house to start their new life. The good-looking young boy was to accompany the bride to her new home, he then will sit on the new bed so he can bring good karma so the couple can conceive a (good-looking) male child.

At 7:40 AM the wedding party got out of the car and started to walk toward the house. A long string of firecrackers (strung almost a block long along the path) was lit and smoke and thunderous noise filled the street. The bride and groom and the boy walked quickly to avoid the explosion of the firecrackers. At the entrance of the house, the bride had to step over a bundle of burning straw (so the evil spirit would not hide under her skirt) before her entering.

They got to their newly decorated room, and sure enough, had the boy sat on the new bed. This practice also brought back old memories as I was once used to do the same as a young boy at my cousin Nin’s wedding night. I sat on their bed some 45 years ago and my cousin since had 4 boys (Albert, Benny, Chris and David). I could have made a fortune at weddings if I only knew of my potential when I was young.

Rice wine was served and they toasted each other. They were also served soup with two hard boiled eggs and two meat balls (great fertility symbols). We were also served the rice wine and soup and eggs. Not really wanted any help in fertility, but I was glad for the tasty treat.

We left Wai Lan’s house around 9:00 AM and Tao Sun suggested to visit the local temple which was on top of the hill overlooking Xingning, not far from Tao Tim’s house. It was very scenic and we got a great view of the city.

Noon time at the restaurant, was more eating (18 courses) and the newlywed actually had their ceremony in front of all the guests. They presented tea to their respective parents and relatives and went around all the tables to toast everyone. All the young men got around to play little games with the bride and groom. A tradition that was quite common in the Chinese culture. The groom with toasting from all his friends was overindulged with the cognac and got pretty drunk at the end of the banquet.

After the banquet, Tao sun also took me to the Hakka Museum in Meizhou (Chinese: 梅州; pinyin: Méizhōu) is a prefecture-level city of eastern Guangdong Province in the south of the People's Republic of China. It has an area of 15,836 km², and a population of 5.05 million. Meizhou is honored with the Hometown of Culture, Hometown of the Overseas Hakka Chinese and Hometown of Football. (Wikipedia) The visit had gained me a great insight of my people....the Hakka (Guest Family). Will tell you more later.

Day 3 - Family Banquet 5/9/2011 Monday

The day of our catered party at noon, the caterers arrived at around 9:30 AM with all the pressurized propane stoves (for high temp cooking), woks, tables and chairs, food, serving plates and eating wares. Chinese wine and liquor were already bought yesterday. The food will be cooked and serve on premise. We had invited 60 people for a 22 courses banquet. I found out later that Xingning’s custom was to have banquet at noon instead of in the evening. I supposed it made sense to have such heavy meal during the day so one can have the rest of the day to digest the food. My cousin also invited the village chief and the general secretary of Xingning. He didn’t expect them to show up but at 11 AM, the General Secretary showed up on his motor scooter with a 20 foot long fire crackers. I still didn’t understand what it was with the Chinese about fireworks. My cousin felt so honor and instantly gained tremendous face among the whole village.

People started to arrive in small groups and tea were served in those ever presence little plastic ketchup cups. The little earthen tea pot was working overtime. Before we know it, people started to drink wine and smoke cigarettes. I greeted everyone with my now newly developed Cantonese/Hakka/Mandarine/English dialect and everyone seemed to understand exactly what I said. Without second guessing myself, I had never felt so proud of my language skill.

Tao Tim's younger brother Tao Sun (陳道新), a retired doctor, arrived around 11:30 with his son's chauffeur from Guangzhou (廣州), (a 4 hours ride), and joining us for the feast. Tao Sun's son was some sort of big shot Chinese official and was well off enough to have his owe driver. Tao Tim and Tao Sun were my closest kin in China. Their father and mine shared the same father but a different mother.

Food started to flow out from the outdoor kitchen temporarily set up at the back of the house which was staffed by a chef and two women assistants/waitresses. The 22 courses arrived continuously at a regular pace and people seemed to able to keep up with the eating as there were always room at the table for the next dish.

After the 4th course, Tao Tim advised me to go around to all the tables to give each one a proper toast. We started with the one with the VIP's from the city and village. At that precise moment that long string of fire crackers were lit and it was so loud that nobody really can hear what I was trying to say in my mixed dialect. It was just as well that they were spared the agony.

There were so much toasting and counter toasting as everyone was trying not to be out done by the next person and no one was eating and the onslaught of food started to pile up on the table. People were looking for more wine and the two kitchen helpers turned waitresses were flustered with the mob scene.

At two o'clock, the last course were served and everyone seemed to be pretty sloshed. The big shot VIP suddenly stood up to leave and all his entourage followed. Things started to wound down from the drinking and the two overworked waitresses started to clear the tables with great efficiency. Many of the men gather around and the little tea pot was once again sprung into action and rounds of tea was served. The all hung around until 4 PM and at 6 PM sharp dinner was served with many of the leftover dishes from the same afternoon.

After dinner, my cousin presented me a duplicate copy of our ancestral archive which he was one of the editors.They put a new edition every 5 years and it came in 3 volumes. I gave him an update from my side of the family in the U.S. with names of all the nephews and nieces. I also told him that my daughter, Jessica was protesting in why all the daughters names were not recorded in the archive. Even though it was a common practice for generations in many Chinese family archives, Tao Sun also disagreed with the inequality. Tao Tim finally agreed that in the next edition, he will put down all the daughters names in as well. So I crossed off another item on my list for this trip.

Day 2 - Paying Respect to the Ancestors 5/8/2011 Sunday

On May 8th (Sunday), my nephew nicknamed Gill Gill (陳佛彬), the farmer met us at the bus terminal, with his wife brought a dead chicken, a slab of pork, a fish together with a basket full of incense and paper money and a 4 foot long of fire crackers came to the house. My cousin's youngest son, Zi Man (陳子文) also prepared tea and wine with cups and bowls and set them by the door. We all had breakfast at 8 AM and around 9:30AM, according to the Chinese Almanac which was a good time for honoring ancestors, we all walked to the ancestral Surrounded Houses for a small ceremony. This was one of the thing on my agenda for this trip.

Being this was Sunday morning some of the grandkids also came along. Upon arrival the women started lighting incense and candles in front the ceremonial altar. They passed Amy, Chi Keung and I some various sizes of joss stick and we all lined up in front and prayed out loud and bow. The tradition was to talk loud (so they can hear you from heaven afar ) and asked the ancestors for your wishes and blessing. Things like blessing one with a healthy male child, a prosper business, a healthy life.... etc, were the standard. I put down on my own list for a healthy and joyous life for all my kids, love ones, family and friends also on the list was winning the Lotto, out riding Terry on my bike and no leaks on my old roof. I hope it was not too much to ask considered the distance I traveled and being this was my first time.

The women also burnt paper money so the ancestors had plenty to spend. I was sure they experienced inflation in the underworld as well. Before we left, Zi Man lit this 4 ft long fire (cherry bomb-like) crackers. It exploded a few round but stop. He had to run back and re-lit the now very short fuse and ran for his life. The ancestral hall exploded in booming crackling noise and instantly filled with white smoke and red paper debris. I was not that afraid of the white smoke as about a year ago I had similar experience at a different setting. But the noise was deafening. The idea was to scare away the evil spirit and I was quite sure all my ancestors would have been awakening by then, so I quickly recited my wish list again that I had prepared earlier.

We went home and rest from the event and had lunch at noon. The food were consisted of chicken, pork and fish. (Hmm, wondered where they came from). We then took naps as the humidity was getting heavier. At the end of my nap I saw all the boys (grandnephews) hunched over their computer and played games. The computer was sitting on a small low table and their backs must be hurting in that hunch position. They did not have a proper desk. So I asked Tao Tim to take me to a furniture store to buy two computer desks for the kids.

We walked all the way to the end of the village and came to the main street which was full of businesses. Tao Tim found his favorite furniture store and talked to the owner. I saw a handed-made computer desk built onsite by one of his carpenter and told the owner we wanted two. Tao Tim started to hackled with the owner on the price. We settled on the price and I paid the owner and tried to ask for a receipt. Tao Tim and the owner both laughed and said they knew each other for a long time and such thing would not be necessary. I felt such an American among these people and started to learn the local custom. The desks arrived an hour later on a 3 wheels motor scooter and all the kids were quite happy and started to move the two computers from each side of their house. I gave them proper posture instructions on computers and they all eagerly taking their turn at it.

My cousin has 6 grandkids from his three sons. They range from 5 to 17. The oldest 5 kids are all in junior to high school and all taking English. So I took the time to speak English to them (Might be a mistake on my part). I also gave them English names so I can identify them easily and they all seemed to be thrilled. I just pick names from my favorite Kings and Queens and movie stars. I will let you guess what they were, but if you see Elvis and Henry Chan become famous in China, in the future. Don't blame me for it.

At the same night, we were invited to Gill Gill's home for dinner which was located directly behind Tao Tim house. The two houses separated by a huge fish pond. Gill Gill shared the same duplex style house with his younger brother. Both men were married with children and their father (my other cousin) was living with them. The house was 3 story and with better amenities. Kitchen sinks, refrigerator and stereo sound system. There were about 25 people for dinner and the two boys whipped up a 12-course dinner in a flash.There were plenty of home made rice wine and Chinese beer. You can tell the women were happier in that household as both men were working and living at home.

Day 1 - Let the Search Begin 5/7/2011 Saturday

This morning at 7:30 AM we finally started our long awaited bus trip to Xingning (興寧), mainland China. The ancestral village of my grandfather. I was traveling with my sister Amy and we also invited my nephew Chi Keung (living in HK) along for the trip. The bus ride took 6 hours but within that time period we seemed to be traveling back in time for 60 years. We left the most modernized concrete jungle of Hong Kong and gradually moving into rural villages of China. On our way, we seen rice and vegetable fields, water buffalos lazily bathing in the streams, rolling green hills, the famous Pearl river, peoples in motor scooters (sometimes the whole family in one scooter). There seemed to be no traffic rules in small cities we passed though. Everyone just turned and passed at their own free will (pedestrians included) in all directions but some how they all managed to get along and no accidents were witnessed although I swore there should be at least several fatalities if the same situations occurred in the U.S.

Xingning (興寧), a county-level city, under the jurisdiction of Meizhou (梅州) Guangdong province (廣東省) is the second largest city in east Guangdong, with an area of 2105 sq. km.; and a population of 1.13 million. The city governs 29 towns/townships containing 475 villages. (Wikipedia)

We arrived there at 1 PM and my cousin Tao Tim (陳道添), whom I have never met, was already awaited for us at the bus terminal. After the emotional hugs and rapid firing of the Xingning dialect between Amy and my cousin. We managed to stuff all our luggages and 5 people plus the taxi driver into this small cab. Never mind, I had to share the same front seat with another relative whom I still needed to ascertain our long line of relationship. This man, few years younger than I am was a farmer all his life (I can feel his muscle) whom my cousin Tao Tim brought along to help as porter, was almost sitting on my lap when he climbed into the cab. But he assured me it will be only a short ride. The ride was about several kilometers but had to wind through some rice fields and small narrow dirt road. The last few blocks before arriving to my cousin's house was this narrow bridge spanning over this fish pond which even this well-adapted-to-China-traffic driver had to hesitate about the crossing but with my cousin's urging and coaching, we somehow managed to squeezed through and arrived safely with inches to spare at least on my side of the cab. We could had been fish food if the spirit of my ancestors were not looking after us at the precise moment. We got off the sardine-can-like cab and started to breath in the fresh country air and my sore and hoarse throat was instantly better.

After arriving at my cousin's house (as least that I was thought), which was a 3 stories brick and concrete duplex like structure with a front garden enclosed by a flimsy iron gate. I can see all sorts of green vegetable growing in the garden. The duplex building was identical on both side and each had a front door leading to a sitting area. Each door had a set of red posters with Chinese writing on it. These were the remnants from the Chinese New Year some three months ago. My cousin made his own posters to pen in some good wishes for the family. A traditional practice that traced back thousands of years. I tried to take a picture of it but a scores of people were already pouring out from each door to greet us. There were an elderly woman (my cousin's wife), three women in there late thirties to mid forties (my cousin's three daughter-in-laws), a middle age man (my cousin's younger son), three girls and three boys from age 5 to age 17 (my cousin's grandkids). They were all quite shy but were very curious to see their relatives came all the way from America.

After a brief introduction we were led to sit in the front room and tea were pouring out non-stop from this little clay tea pot. Amy, Chi Keung and I already have our own tea mug with our name on it. The rest of the adults were all drinking from the little sipping cups.(There were only 5 of them) Each adult were taking turn to refill the clay teapot from the two hot water thermos sitting next to the coffee (tea) table. I tried to involve in the conversation and absorb the new environment all at the same time studying each person and tried to make heads and tails on how they were all related. I gave up when more people (relatives) arriving in the room from nearby houses and little plastic cups (the kinds we used at In-and-Out burgers to get ketchup) were given to the newcomers for tea. I was more amazed on how that one little teapot can accommodate so many people. But the credit had to go to the person that pour the tea. He or she seemed to know exactly how much tea to pour onto each cup when making the round as we all got about an equal allotment from each time when tea was poured.

After about 15 rounds of tea sipping (which seemed like eternity), lunch was announced to be served at a round table nearby. I failed to see how the table were set. As it seemed to appeared out of nowhere with 4 pipping hot dishes and a big earthen pot in the middle. They were all local dishes of Hakka origin, They were stuffed tofu, braised pork with skin, stir fried green from the garden, meat ball with melon soup, I discovered for the next two hours that earthen pot in the middle were chicken cooked in home made sweet rice wine which my cousin and his son made sure I have plenty to sample.

We finished lunch at around 2:30 PM plus more rounds of tea, my cousin then took me for a short walk to the center of the village where the ancestral 围屋 (surrounded houses) were located. We winded through some narrow paths between some modern and some real old structures intermingled with vegetable plots, small rice paddies and fish ponds. There seems to be ditches on each side of the foot path with open running water streamed down rapidly. I saw a man dressed in long overall with a contraption (seen right out of Ghost Busters - the movie) on his back. He stood next to one of the ditch and started poking two metal rods into the water. I thought he was some sort of scientist testing the water quality but I was soon told he was fishing with an electric prods. I saw him netted a small stunned fish as we walked by. Hope the humane society doesn't get hold of this story.

We arrived at the ancestral home in about 5 minutes. It was a long single level typical looking Chinese building with slanted earthen brick roof and eaves. The center of the building was the ceremonial hall for worshiping and remembrance of ancestors. It was facing south. In front of it was a large fish pond. On either side of the hall (east and west) were two entrances and there were small houses all connected side by side forming a semicircle. I was told it could house up to 200 hundred people in this ancestral home. Now there were only a few families living in it and most of the houses were abandoned and used to raise chickens. It all pretty run down and rather filthy. Need to study more about this ancient building.

We walked back through the narrow path and came to this old two story building and my cousin Tao Tim took out a key and opened the door and let us in. I finally realized it was his house where he and his wife and the youngest son and his family lived. At his house, Tao Tim presented me with a gift, a welcoming poem he wrote in classic Chinese calligraphy to commemorate my visit. It basically says we are both tied by blood despite the great distance apart.

The house Amy and I and Chi Keung staying was the house belong to his two older sons whom were working out-of-town and they only come home on occasion. They worked hard and saved big so they can built this house 5 years ago. The two wives were in charge of raising the kids and maintaining the household. I also found out they just recently completed the 2nd and 3rd story in preparation of our visit. These relatives of mine were poor by our standard and the house was scarcely furnished. But they had rolled-out the red carpet for us. There was no refrigeration and cooking were done by propane and coal bricks. Water were all pipe in by PVC pipes. But the 2nd story had a sit-down toilet (thank god) but no washing basin.

There was a small gas-fired on-demand water heater for bathing. They had no floor mats at the entrance ways and stair case. Humidity was quite high and we were into the rainy season with frequent downpour. For floor mats they put old clothing down to wipe your feet when entering the house or climbing the stairs. I now know what part of the house I was in just by seeing the different garment as I stepped on it. A red long gym pants greeted the front door. A pair of an old blue jean at the lower stair case. A small green t-shirt laid at the landing between the first and ground floor. A black jacket guarded the bathing room....etc.

All three stories of the house each had 3 bed rooms, a toilet and the lower floor also house the kitchen and a shower with a squat style toilet. They actually feel quite well-off and the conversation always eluded back to how hard things were in the no too distance past.

We were served dinner at 6 PM sharp with more rice wine and delicious steaming hot Hakka dishes. The three daughter-in-laws under the command of Tao Tim's wives cooked and served us food in swift efficiency and all three got on really well and communicated in rapid, loud and high pitch Xingning Hakka dialect. It was a pretty hard life especially for the two older daughter-in-laws as I have yet to find out how they cope with their lives in long absence from their husbands.

Starting off the Trip, 5/3/2011. Tuesday.

Arriving in Hong Kong

I had a scary mishap during the flight. I was tired and hungry (being not eating too much at dinner) when getting on the flight. So I ate everything in sight when dinner was served at 3:30 AM ( 2 hours into the flight). I also had a glass of red wine with dinner and finished off with shot of cognac. Soon after I was ready to sleep as I was exhausted. Shortly after they cleaned the tray off the table and I was coming down with dizziness and a big cold sweat. Last thing I remember I was trying to get up and go to the toilet to wash my face but the next thing I knew I was lying on the aisle next to the toilet with Amy kept calling my name and there were at least two more flight attendants wiping my face. I had passed out and bumped my head and lay unconscious for about 5 minutes. They finally sat me up and let me used the toilet. I went back to my seat but still felt dizzy with a cold sweat. I must had passed out again for the next thing I remembered was Amy cleaning-off barf of my chest. I must had threw-up and made a mess on my shirt. The nice, young and cute stewardesses were all over me. I think there were 4 of them (Fanny, Sophie, Candy and Tracy). They all offering me air sickness bags, wet towels, water and a new pajama reserved only for the 1st class passengers. (I got to keep the pajama) I felt so embarrassed as everyone was looking as me (but I kind of like it). Finally, I threw up again all I had in my stomach and felt immediately better.

Next thing I knew, the kind flight attendants cleared out all five passengers from the whole center row and let me laid down and slept. They piled several pillows and 7 blankets to keep me warm as I was feeling chills. I slept for 4 hours with Amy at the end of the row keeping an eye on me. I got up after the siesta and felt like a million dollars. I sat up for the rest of the trip and ate a cup of noodles and breakfast before landing.

I asked the supervisor for a comment form and wrote a really nice letter to show my appreciation. As a gesture of appreciation, I also invited all the flight crews in the Economy Class (most of them were young Chinese girls) to going sailing on the bay next time they have a laid-over in SFO.

Hong Kong (香港; ) is one of two special administrative regions (SARs) of the People's Republic of China (PRC), the other being Macau. Situated on China's south coast and enclosed by the Pearl River Delta and South China Sea, it is renowned for its expansive skyline and deep natural harbor. With a land mass of 1,104 km² (426 sq mi) and a population of seven million people, Hong Kong is one of the most densely populated areas in the world. Hong Kong's population is 95 percent ethnic Chinese and 5 percent from other groups. Hong Kong's Han Chinese majority originate mainly from the cities of Guangzhou and Taishan in the neighboring Guangdong province. (Wikipedia)

I got to HK early Tuesday morning feeling still a little groggy. With the well known HK efficiency, I was able to clear the usual obstacles in 15 minutes and got on my bus heading to our hotel in Kowloon. The minute I boarded the bus, I got a big whiff of nasty perfume coming from two elderly Western ladies sitting in front of me. The ride only took 30 minutes but the smell of that strong perfume would have last at least three more days. I then started a marathon of meetings and lunches and dinners and afternoon teas with friends and relatives for the next few days. Every day I was feeling a little more recovered from the jet lag and my throat slowly adjusting to the smog filled city of Kowloon.

One of my goal was to meet up with my sister-in-law Evelina's family. She had 2 sisters and a brother still living in HK. Her brother Man Siu (吳文瑞) in particular, was also researching and writing his family history. He is a learned man, a graduate from the famous Tsinghua University (清華大學) in China. And I would like to pick his brain on how he approached the subject. He treated us to a nice dinner and shared his writings (in Chinese) with me. I was so impressed with his writing style of great precision and humor. I could only wished my writing would be like that.

We also caught up with my nephew, Chi Keung (陳志強) whom I grew up with some fifty years ago. We have a great time talking and looking forward to our trip together to China. He had lived a hard life.

Getting Ready for the Trip

I have been pondering in the last few months about my upcoming trip to China, to places where my ancestors come from. Thanks to my sister Amy, she has been instrumental in contacting and re-connecting with relatives in Xingning (興寧) , Lianghua (梁化) and Huizhou (惠州), where all my grandparents, my dad and all my other 8 siblings were born.

Amy will be accompanying me on this trip. Together we will visit my grandfather's ancestral village in Xingning, go to Huizhou where my brother Pete was born and where my Dad worked, to Lianghua where my grandfather built his fortune. He together with my grandma were buried there. I together with others will pay my respect at the grave site. Will try to find the location of the Farm House where most my siblings were born. That Farm House had long been gone and dismantled. Visit the three stories building where my grandfather built and had his business. It is still standing but in poor shape. Will go and take pictures of the elementary school where all my siblings had attended and where my Dad was once a teacher.

I will meet many relatives that I have only heard of but never met. Being born and raised in Hong Kong and the U.S., I always feel like an outsider whenever my siblings talked about their childhood memories in China. For I have no clue about the sights and sounds and geographic locations of any of these places. Thanks to Google Map, I have been studying some of these places and now have some ideas about the distance and direction of where all these cities and villages are. This trip will fill-up my senses with smells, sights and sounds that I have been missing all my life.

I will also try to visit Cheun Shan (中山), where my maternal parents came from. If we still have time, I will take my sister Amy to visit Macau where my Mom was born. Amy had never visit Macau before. I have been there many times as a child and adult. I always have a close connection with it every time I visit there. I think it is from the memories etched into my psyche long ago when my Mom took me to visit her brothers. I was only six years old then.

I have arranged all the usual traveling necessities: visas, flights, hotels, gifts...etc. Will pack light as we will take many buses throughout China.

I try to keep an open-mind about this trip as I do no know what to expect out of it. It is a journey I always wanted to do but afraid of. I know many of my siblings thinking I am wasting my time and energy. But, they have never grew up as "an outsider" as I was. It is a personal trip for me to look beyond my time and get connected with my family's past. Wish me luck!

Family Party

September 9, 2010


How often is a family able to gather all of their members, free from other obligations, overcome geographic distance and scheduling conflicts to spend a pleasant evening together? The chance for that to happen in a large family is almost next to none. It certainly was the case on last Sunday when we attempted to have a historic first-ever family BBQ at our house. Despite missing some family members we managed to gather 6 out of 8 of my siblings and their respective families and had a total of 53 people for a back yard BBQ. It was a monumental task but the end result was well worth the effort. Just seeing the smiling faces of everyone interacting with each other, (some of them for the first time), was heartwarming and my parents would have been very proud.

Considering a good part of our family had been separated from 1950 to 1985 in two continents, not able to see one another regularly, one would wonder why we wouldn't get together more often, since almost all of us now live in California?

I had asked my sister Amy (no. 4) to buy all the necessary ingredients to make the deep-fried daikon cakes (蝦堆) at the party. This delicious little treat is of great significance to those that were born and raised in the old village in China. This is something I heard about growing up from my older siblings on how they missed tasting this little fried cake sold on street corners by vendors hovering over a small wok filled with hot oil. They would be deep frying a rice flour batter on a specially made round metal spatula with shredded daikon in the middle and topped with peanuts and dried shrimp (and hence the Chinese name 蝦堆 Ha Deui). I tasted it for the first time in my life last Sunday at the party among my family and it was DELICIOUS! Now I finally know what this is all about. It instantly brought me closer to my brothers and sisters as I always felt like an outsider being born and raised in Hong Kong.

Another important significance of the fried daikon cake marked a special meaning to our family. I found this out interviewing my brother Ji-lin (no. 3). He told me he was only 10 years old when my parents left China and he and brother Kai (no. 5) used to make this little treat to sell on street corners for a penny a piece to help support the family. I know I am ahead of myself on my story, but I can't help telling this.

The party was a huge success with great food and desserts. I found out many of the younger members (nephews and nieces) are budding chefs and brought over tasty treats.

We ended the party having each of my siblings bring their family (sons and daughters, grandchildren, their boy and girlfriends, in-laws) to center stage and have one member from each family introduce their family. It was the highlight of the party and was quite touching.

We vow to have more gatherings like this on a regular basis from now on. For not only was it fun, bringing everyone closer together, but, simply the right thing to do.

More next time.